Intimacy Coaching

Intimacy Coaching; What To Expect

Experiential sex, relationship and intimacy coaching might sound intimidating but it’s actually a lot of fun. I believe that change doesn’t happen through talk alone, but through the actual experience.

Experiences create new neural pathways in our brains, they help move us out of habit, out of autopilot and into new realms of feeling.

Whether our sessions take place in person or over Zoom, we will engage in intimate and emotional experiences together, safely and within the context of certain boundaries.*

Some of what we’ll do will look fairly similar to talk therapy. Especially if our sessions are conducted online. However, in a traditional talk therapy setting, a client talks and a therapist shares observations. In my coaching, as we talk, I track my own feelings and share them with you authentically and in the moment, so we can experience what it feels like to be in relationship with each other, using our bodies, our emotions and our erotic energy as gauges and teaching tools. We respond organically to one another and this allows you to learn and practice new ways of relating and using your energy.

We will work through practices together grounded in a very real experience of attachment, intimacy, care and erotic connection. Our sessions will be a sandbox and we get to play in that sandbox together. It’s real-time practice in relationships and relating.

Want to tell me your story and hear more of mine? Book a free 25 minute consult and ask me anything.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why would I need a sex and relationship coach?

There are a variety of reasons people seek out sex, relationship and intimacy coaching. Some include:

  • Feeling shame around sex
  • Feeling shame around fantasy
  • Feeling shame/disappointment around your or your partner’slevels of desire or lack thereof
  • Struggling to find arousal (either with a partner or alone)
  • Struggling with setting boundaries lovingly
  • Struggling with accepting boundaries lovingly
  • Struggling with sexuality/gender/self acceptance/body issues
  • Feeling blocked by trauma, turmoil, or abuse
  • Finding that orgasms are difficult or impossible to achieve, or don’t feel especially satisfying
  • Finding that sex feels painful, unsatisfying or a chore
  • Picking incompatible partners over and over again
  • Wanting to have more interesting/exciting/pleasurable sex
  • Wanting to explore kink
  • Wanting to boost confidence and tap into your mojo
  • Wanting to be better at flirting
  • Wanting to learn the ins and outs of power dynamics
  • Wanting something other than monogamy
  • Wanting to experience secure attachment and full self expression
  • Learning to ask for what you want, specifically and explicitly
  • Learning embodied connection to emotions and sexuality
  • Learning resilience and how to deal with disappointment
  • And much, much more.

Why work with a Somatica® Trained relationship coach?

A key Somatica® teaching is that change happens through real relationship and, indeed, intimacy can only be worked on in relationship. I provide that relationship lab – our shared sandbox – where together we can share feelings, allow them, celebrate them and work with them.

Is intimacy and emotional connection teachable?

You bet. And once you learn it, you can also teach it to those in your life so they can love you better! In my coaching we will break intimacy down into its various different aspects, experience those aspects, practice with them and learn from them. By using our bodies, our emotions, our erotic energy, our breath and our triggers, we will learn how and why we respond the way we do to the people in our lives and whether those responses serve us or whether we’d like to work on them.

What skills will I learn from intimacy coaching?

? Experiential relationship coaching is transformative in so many ways. Almost too many to list. Once you learn to shed layers of shame, you’ll be able to show up more vulnerably, connect more authentically, and feel generally more empowered in life. These foundational skills will also help you to develop your empathy, up-level your connection superpowers and become more comfortable and open in your eroticism and sexuality.

You’ll also learn more about your attachment style, be able to experience secure attachment with me as your coach and allow yourself full expression in a safe environment.

Coaching can help you develop more compassion, for yourself and others. You may find yourself becoming more loving, more forgiving and gentler with those around you. You will learn skills to help you listen better, to understand emotional context, to set and enforce boundaries lovingly make people feel heard and seen, and to connect more authentically and vulnerably. which in turn will allow them to better connect to you and be seen in return.

So, it just comes down to communication?

Not just communication, but it’s an undeniably big part of a healthy sex life and relationship. Most of us have struggled at some point in our lives when it comes to communicating about sexuality. Growing up, talking about sex was often taboo, but as an adult we’re expected to be able to discuss it with ease with our partner(s). Communication is a craft and all the more so when it comes to sexual communication. In our coaching sessions we will practice how to be more reflective than reactive in our communication in order to foster deeper connections. Communication improves intimacy and intimacy improves sex, there’s no way around it.

What if I feel ashamed of my sexual preferences/fantasies/lifestyle?

There’s no judgement in my coaching. Different strokes for different folks, everyone has their proclivities and their preferences for how to live their lives. I will never tell you you should be living your life differently, or teaching you “the right way” because that doesn’t exist. The only thing that maters is what is good for you, and how to be more fully and joyfully you.

Also, the more you are able to allow your nervous system to relax in sessions free from judgment and guilt, the quicker you’ll get to a place where you feel seen, understood, validated and worthy of desire.

What does embodiment have to do with anything?

Good sex relies on being in your body. Present and focused. If you want to have better sex you need to be able to be in your body. How do we create a better connection with our own body? What does it mean to connect to your erotic self? We have the power to turn ourselves on and to turn ourselves off. I can teach you skills to do this.

My relationships are fine, I just have low desire which I assume is hormonal. Can coaching help with that?

Loss of desire is one of the more common complaints I deal with in my practice. Contrary to popular assumption, it’s often not a purely hormonal issue. There are a plethora of factors that influence sexual desire, and a multitude of reasons why things can come to a grinding (or not grinding) halt. These reasons can run the gamut from personal, to medical, to emotional and beyond. They might have their roots in historical factors, or insecurities or wounds. They could just be a result of being overstressed, busy or tired. We all sometimes face obstacles to desire. In coaching with me, we will take the time to identify and reflect on the obstacles that are holding you back and explore options around them.

Who do you work with?

I work with all genders, all orientations, all levels of physical abilities and limitations and relationships styles. Monogamous? Cool. Non Monogamous? Cool. Kinky? Cool. If you’re a human and you want relationship coaching, I can coach you.

Do you work with couples?

I do. I prefer to first do solo sessions with each member of the couple before we do joint sessions in order to get a good sense of both people’s erotic selves and how they connect to themselves before we delve into partner dynamics.

What are the boundaries?

Boundaries of my practice are that both client and practitioner remain fully clothed at all times, and that there is no genital touching or kissing. That said, there can be two-way touch, erotic energy exchange and emotional sharing.